Movie-gasm

Recently the hubs and I have reunited with our love of the movie theater. It seems as though we've been to the movies almost every weekend and I'm sure we'll be back soon to see Django Unchained. So I suppose rather than picking one, I'll just tell you about them all.

Cinematic Review

I'll try to keep my comments short and sweet. My apologies in advance for any unnecessary rambling.

I freaking miss this show

Lincoln

So good. So so so good. Cinematography - amazeballs. Story line - enrapturing. Cast - star studded to the point that several times hubby and I looked at each other in surprise as we recognized our favorite actors. Mostly because we don't have actual tv (we're a netflix family) so we haven't seen the commercials to know that Tommy Lee Jones, James Spader, and Joseph Gorden Levitt had starring roles. I know, I know. The rock that we live under is actually quite nice. There's been a humongous drop in our douche-intake since we've cut out cable.

Even he's not sure what movies he's in these days

Back to Lincoln...this film will have you cracking up and crying the next minute. Daniel Day-Lewis is a freaking genius and I can't imagine a better Abraham Lincoln. Sally Fields (yes that Sally Fields) does wonders with Mary Todd Lincoln. History has her recorded as some loony toon because she publicly mourned the loss of their son. Hey history, give her a freaking break. Nobody in their right mind would just brush it off like she misplaced her favorite lip gloss. My dog gets sick and I turn into a one-woman soap opera. I cannot imagine the toll losing a child would take. But Fields makes it real in a way that I've never seen before. Remember when she was M'Lynn in Steel Magnolias? It's like that with petticoats and fancy dialogue...but better.

"Mary my dear, I believe this wallpaper is called blush and bashful"
"Abe...the cullah is pink and pink" - Not actual lines from the movie.

K...I'm rambling. Moving on.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Adventure

Three words: Not. For. No0bs.

If you know nothing of the Tolkien franchise, you're gonna have a bad time. It's very long and requires a deep love of LOTR characters. Also, don't go watch it at 11:35 pm on a day when you got up at 4am. As exciting as it is, you're going to want to crawl inside Gandalf's beard and go night-night.

The highlights for me included:

• Seeing my fave Sherlock character as a hobbit.

• Smeagol/Gollum

The perfect mix of creepy and cute

• The foundation of events to come in LOTR. It was so exciting to see the birth of some of my favorite scenes from back in the day...I mean in the future Middle Earth. Um, yeah. You know what I mean.

Les Miserables

Tears. Oh sweet heavens, the tears. I cried no less than seventeen times. Partly because of the special place Jean Valjean holds in my heart and partly because it was just so damn breathtaking. So much sadness. So much beauty. And no matter what that hack-piece-of-crap-poser Adam Lambert says, this cast is phenomenal. If you are a true lover of the theatre and have not ventured out into the crowds to see this masterpiece yet, I'm assuming it's because you have some misgivings about Russel Crow, Anne Hathaway, and Amanda Seyfried. I hear ya. I was less than thrilled myself. BUT GUYS. You will be not just surprised, but flabbergasted over their talents. Russel Crow sings his ass off like the whole damned movie. He killed it as Javert (and I saw the great Roger Allam when we stopped in for a show on Broadway that I just happened to be at...yes. Be jealous.) Anne Hathaway, er-mah-gerd. Granted, she's good in just about everything but srsly. Victor Hugo couldn't have picked a better Fantine himself. Seyfried is great as Cosette. Granted adult Cosette isn't in much of the film but when she sings, it's perfect. Have I mentioned that they sang this movie in real time?!?! No over-polished studio dubbing. They sang the whole thing.

Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean? No words. No freaking words. Other than I'm in love with you and want to have your wolverine cubs.

No srsly, take me now.

The breakout performances have to go to Sacha Baron-Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter though. What they did with the Thénardiers is sheer perfection. Not only were they the perfect couple that everyone loves to hate, the depth of their depravity was more apparent then I have ever witnessed in any other Les Mis adaptation (and I'm pretty sure I've seen every one out there to date). Never did I think upon viewing this film I would walk away saying to myself, "Wow. Borat and Bellatrix were just amazing!"

*Public Announcement: Parents of newborns. Find a sitter. For the love of all that is chocolate, find a gee dee babysitter. Do not take your infant to a movie that is 3 hours long and contains cannon and musket-fire. What is wrong with you? Did you take stupid pills or something? I know you're running on little-to-no sleep and Les Mis is simply not a movie you can wait for the DVD, but pull your head out of your butt and find someone to watch your baby. Yes, the awful death-stare I gave you was totally warranted. Ruin my movie and I will ruin your face (not literally but I will give you the side-eye).
(there were not one but two couples in attendance at Les Mis who brought their newborn babies. while they were quieter than I anticipated, it's still outrageously dumb.)