Whaddya Think?

So....I've been thinking.

No, I'm not breaking up with you. I realize how scary that first sentence can be.

I haven't been the greatest blogger this last year. A large part of that is due to the fact that switching to a different location with my job meant taking on a lot more responsibility. The other part is, as fascination with my wedding wained, I found myself without topics to write about. I really do think about things to write about but then, I'm like...why would they care that I haven't seen the calf that lives behind our house in weeks and I'm secretly depressed about it? Why would y'all care that every time I see a wolf spider in our house (like 3 times a day) I howl at the moon now that I know what kind of spider they are...and then promptly proceed with execution? You don't. Because you have lives. And if you do care about the silly things from my life in the sticks, then I want to introduce you to two of my good friends: Internet and television. They are way more entertaining.

That being said, I want you to know I'm not giving up on blogging; I'm just shifting gears. Instead of writing for the sake of writing, which is totes fun in its own right, I need a topic to stay focused on. So, I'm starting a new blog. A baby blog. Now before you freak out and blow up my FB page, I'M NOT PREGNANT. We aren't even trying yet. So just slow your role.

Those of you who know me personally and know me well, are quite aware of my baby fever. It's baaad y'all. I saw a picture of my friend Laura's new baby with his big sister, my favorite almost 5 (what!?!?) year old, and I swear I felt my ovaries explode with giddiness. I haven't even met the new kid (because I'm the worst friend EVER) and the sight of his cheeks make me just explode...almost literally. Not to mention I'm the only one in my hubby's fam that isn't knocked up. THE ONLY ONE. Srsly. That's just mean, guys. And some of you have even heard of my timeline on putting that bun in the oven. I'm waiting until September to get the baby train rolling. That's when we're going to NYC for the hub's 30th birthday and God as my witness, I will not have morning sickness when there are hot dog carts at my disposal. As much as I love the idea of making a baby, I love New York food even more...said every mom ever, I'm almost certain. No? Oh. Well, my bad. I'm pretty sure the last time I was in the Big Apple, a whopping 12 years ago, I ate my weight in hot dogs, pizza, and cheesecake. Oh sweet Jesus the cheesecake. Yep, def waiting until after the NYC trip.

Anywhoodles, what do you guys think of me starting a blog documenting all things TTC, pregnancy, and baby related? It would be an AdSense blog so momma can make some (if any) monies. I would discuss topics such as budgets, pet-to-baby relations, re-purposing furniture, and if all the new fancy schmancy baby products are necessary. And of course, in true Cheriee style, I would keep it real. You know it won't all be pretty. And Dear Husband, don't worry. I won't be posting anything too personal, at least nothing that concerns you. So you can stop hyperventilating. I wouldn't do you like that.

So lend me your 2 cents. Is this something you would read? Is this something you would want to hear from a writer like me? Lemmeknow.

Kthxbye.

Movie Review Monday: Like Crazy

Most. Confusing. Movie. Ever.



Source



The transitions in this movie make 0 x 0 sense. Srsly. A day later, I'm still wondering what the hell just happened. Maybe that's because my friend Jessica and I were watching this while preparing and crafting decorations for a bachelorette party we're throwing this coming weekend, but I'm pretty sure the movie just didn't explain shit. One minute the main couple is together, the next thing he's banging Katniss and she's cozied up to someone who looks less like a serial killer, and the minute after that...they're back together again. I STILL don't know how the ending worked out. Once the credits started rolling, Jess and I just looked at each other confused and concerned.

I really wanted to like this movie too. It's independent. It's a Rom-Dram (you're welcome, use it as you wish). It has an excellent soundtrack centered around Paul Simon. It has Jennifer Lawrence for crying out loud. And it looks like it would be just so damn cute! Le sigh (bet you haven't heard that in 5 years!).

But no. Nope. No thank you. No mas. Perhaps we should try shaving off a little bit of the artsy-fartsy and adding just a dash of explainy-fainy. Just a suggestion.

Fin.

YouTube Tuesday: Fake It 'Til You Make It

So I haven't been on here in months. I know. I should probably stop telling people I have a blog...when I don't actually blog anymore. The truth is I haven't lost my appetite for writing. I long for the opportunity to let my creativity flow. So why the absence? Aside for crap-tastic computers at home (omg yes they are too broke, Cameron), I just really don't have anything to blog about these days. There is absolutely nothing happening in the career/home renovation/family planning/freaking anything at all portions in my life.

Well, I suppose that's not entirely true. My favorite person on the planet (that I'm not married to or stalking) is getting married to a fantastic guy in a few weeks #rockstarbridesmaid. The hubs and I are going on a road-trip to the Dong of America Sunshine State next week to see my baby cousin graduate from high school...and to remember why I don't live close to family. And I've started reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, people who are actually achieving things.

God, could this blog be a bigger bummer? Well probably. I've been pretty much bitch slapped by life every time I turn around. But we aren't going to talk about that today. Today we are going to talk about a real-life thing. Fake it until you make it. Has anyone ever told you about how if you start to smile, eventually that will translate into real feelings of happiness? It's true. It doesn't stop the absolute shit-storm that life revolves around you, but it does make it all a little bit more bearable. So that's what I'm doing now. You don't want to hire me? Fine. Your loss. I'm fuggin amazing. Cysts want to explode all over my ovaries causing me intense pain and nausea all week? Sure. Whatevs. I'll adopt or lose weight or whatever. Face wants to break out like a teenager on a taco binge? At least I don't look old...nor too poor to afford tacos. No money? That's cool. I like popcorn for dinner. No really. It's pretty much the best ever.

So if you want to join me in an effort to turn that frown upside down...watch this video. It's 2 solid minutes of cats wearing hats. If this can't make you smile and face your day with renewed vigor, then you totes need help far beyond what I can deliver.

I Deserve An Award

Attention everybody!

Your girl, Cheriee Awesomesauce Atkins-Gosling (jk babe) went into a Target store (for the first time in MONTHS  I might add) and did NOT get Starbucks. I didn't even get popcorn. That's right. The queen of mishandling money and poor food choices chose to go against the grain. Popcorn's a whole grain. Mmmm popcorn. Sea salt popcorn. *wipes drool off of chin* No! Stop! Don't do this to yourself! It's not even 9 o'clock in the morning for Pete's sake.--Sorry. Sometimes I have to be my own life coach.

Crack.

If you're thinking to yourself, "What's the big deal? I go to Target all the time and never step foot inside Starbucks." Well friend, you clearly don't know me at all. Go ahead and stop reading my blog, unfriend me from facebook, and cross me off of your prayer list. Obviously we are never going to work as friends.

I was going to put a funny picture of "frenemies" here, but that's apparently a TV show and a funny cat meme is impossible to find.



Oh! I also made it out of there under $100. Go ahead and pick your jaw up off the floor. In fact, the only thing I bought that wasn't on my list were socks...that were on clearance! Argyle socks at that.

hahasforhoohas.com

I'm expecting a phone call from the Nobel Prize people any moment now.

YouTube Tuesday: Goats Who Yell Like Humans

So I'm sitting here on my lunch break, eating some chicken noodle soup and enjoying some Dr. Who when I decide to visit my new favorite website hahasforhoohas.com. A few scrolls down through some pretty hilarious e-cards and funny stories, I see a video that totally changed my day around. Oh my goodness. I still have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard. I couldn't NOT share this with you guys! You might want to grab some earbuds for this one, or if you are like me and have totally stopped giving a shiz what people think of you, crank up the volume.

Dumb question for the day: So whenever I wear my fleece jacket and take it off, it's like a freaking lightning storm with all of the static. How do goats/sheep/wookies handle this? Do you think they get shocked a lot? Because, I mean, I can barely get through the morning without screaming profanity. If I had to be permanently clad in the stuff, I would be a rage monster. Maybe that's why they scream so loud.

40 days and 40 nights

***Let me preface this post by noting that it is about religion. If you are easily offended, please refrain from reading below. I promise not to be crude or judgemental, I am merely speaking from my heart.***

This year for Lent, I am not giving up pizza or candy or sodas or facebook or any other menial thing in my life. This year, I think I want to give up Catholicism. I know. Whoa. Hear me out...or don't. Whatever.

Let me back track a little bit for you.

When I was a child, my parents did not subscribe to any particular sect of religion. Don't ask me why. Then I would have to ask them why and that's a conversation I do not want to be a part of. God was a part of our vernacular. I never doubted that there was a Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Not to mention I grew up in Abilene, TX. This town makes the Bible belt look like Sodom and Gomorrah. When I was in high school a teacher told us that our beloved town was in the Guinness Book of World Records for both having the most churches on one street (Buffalo Gap Road) and the most pregnant teenagers (Abilene High...jk, old rivalries die hard). There's some serious depth to that statement. Anywhoo, after my parents divorced (circa 1997), my mother converted to Catholicism. I celebrated Mass with her from age 11 and was Baptised and Confirmed to the Church myself at age 15.

I've always loved celebrating Mass. Especially at the church we (not-so regularly) attended in Austin. The artwork, the incense and especially when the devotion of the priest shone through in their homilies. I always felt closer to God in that setting. I've attended many a Protestant church service and just never felt the same. Again, not to offend anybody, it just wasn't my groove so please don't press.

So why am I taking a break from the one religion that makes me feel closer to the Lord? Because it isn't the religion that gives me those warm fuzzies. It isn't the rituals, the sacrament, or even the free wine. There's a fair amount of Cardinal rules that I've never once followed in my life. There's so much that I don't agree with that I practically wrote myself out of my family members' wills by not having a Catholic wedding simply because I couldn't go through with Pre-Cana and making promises to a Priest that I just don't believe in my heart of hearts. I'm not going into detail about that because this subject is touchy and I'm not trying to lose all of my friends at once. Not today anyway.

Considering my general lack of attendance at Mass since leaving Austin, you're probably wondering how this Lenten decision is going to change anything. I suppose the real thing I'm giving up is the guilt. The guilt for not fasting today for Ash Wednesday. The guilt for not going to Mass since July. The guilt for if/when I eat meat on Friday. The guilt for using birth control. The guilt for not having been a born-and-bread Catholic (for some reason this makes me a lower, much worse form of Catholic, ask anyone). The guilt for coming from a broken home. The guilt for thinking most of the Bible was written by sexist males a bazillion years ago who were just trying to form the basis of a well-functioning society rather than hard and fast rules that we should judge our every movement by (life goes on people, let's rework some of this).The guilt for writing this blog post because what is St. Peter going to say when he pulls this little ditty up on the Jumbo-Tron in front of the pearly-gates?

So please, do not pass judgement because your God is better, stronger, or happier than my God. I still have a relationship with the Lord that is personal between the two (or four) of us. There is no doubt in that for me. I'm just taking a break from the bureaucracy of religion to refocus my beliefs. Perhaps this isn't good for me, you're saying shaking your head at your computer/tablet/phone. But perhaps, this is the best thing for me. To take a step back and breath and discover God on His terms, not on the terms of someone else.

P.S. The Pope quit so I can too. (this is a joke, so just chillax)

Movie-gasm

Recently the hubs and I have reunited with our love of the movie theater. It seems as though we've been to the movies almost every weekend and I'm sure we'll be back soon to see Django Unchained. So I suppose rather than picking one, I'll just tell you about them all.

Cinematic Review

I'll try to keep my comments short and sweet. My apologies in advance for any unnecessary rambling.

I freaking miss this show

Lincoln

So good. So so so good. Cinematography - amazeballs. Story line - enrapturing. Cast - star studded to the point that several times hubby and I looked at each other in surprise as we recognized our favorite actors. Mostly because we don't have actual tv (we're a netflix family) so we haven't seen the commercials to know that Tommy Lee Jones, James Spader, and Joseph Gorden Levitt had starring roles. I know, I know. The rock that we live under is actually quite nice. There's been a humongous drop in our douche-intake since we've cut out cable.

Even he's not sure what movies he's in these days

Back to Lincoln...this film will have you cracking up and crying the next minute. Daniel Day-Lewis is a freaking genius and I can't imagine a better Abraham Lincoln. Sally Fields (yes that Sally Fields) does wonders with Mary Todd Lincoln. History has her recorded as some loony toon because she publicly mourned the loss of their son. Hey history, give her a freaking break. Nobody in their right mind would just brush it off like she misplaced her favorite lip gloss. My dog gets sick and I turn into a one-woman soap opera. I cannot imagine the toll losing a child would take. But Fields makes it real in a way that I've never seen before. Remember when she was M'Lynn in Steel Magnolias? It's like that with petticoats and fancy dialogue...but better.

"Mary my dear, I believe this wallpaper is called blush and bashful"
"Abe...the cullah is pink and pink" - Not actual lines from the movie.

K...I'm rambling. Moving on.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Adventure

Three words: Not. For. No0bs.

If you know nothing of the Tolkien franchise, you're gonna have a bad time. It's very long and requires a deep love of LOTR characters. Also, don't go watch it at 11:35 pm on a day when you got up at 4am. As exciting as it is, you're going to want to crawl inside Gandalf's beard and go night-night.

The highlights for me included:

• Seeing my fave Sherlock character as a hobbit.

• Smeagol/Gollum

The perfect mix of creepy and cute

• The foundation of events to come in LOTR. It was so exciting to see the birth of some of my favorite scenes from back in the day...I mean in the future Middle Earth. Um, yeah. You know what I mean.

Les Miserables

Tears. Oh sweet heavens, the tears. I cried no less than seventeen times. Partly because of the special place Jean Valjean holds in my heart and partly because it was just so damn breathtaking. So much sadness. So much beauty. And no matter what that hack-piece-of-crap-poser Adam Lambert says, this cast is phenomenal. If you are a true lover of the theatre and have not ventured out into the crowds to see this masterpiece yet, I'm assuming it's because you have some misgivings about Russel Crow, Anne Hathaway, and Amanda Seyfried. I hear ya. I was less than thrilled myself. BUT GUYS. You will be not just surprised, but flabbergasted over their talents. Russel Crow sings his ass off like the whole damned movie. He killed it as Javert (and I saw the great Roger Allam when we stopped in for a show on Broadway that I just happened to be at...yes. Be jealous.) Anne Hathaway, er-mah-gerd. Granted, she's good in just about everything but srsly. Victor Hugo couldn't have picked a better Fantine himself. Seyfried is great as Cosette. Granted adult Cosette isn't in much of the film but when she sings, it's perfect. Have I mentioned that they sang this movie in real time?!?! No over-polished studio dubbing. They sang the whole thing.

Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean? No words. No freaking words. Other than I'm in love with you and want to have your wolverine cubs.

No srsly, take me now.

The breakout performances have to go to Sacha Baron-Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter though. What they did with the Thénardiers is sheer perfection. Not only were they the perfect couple that everyone loves to hate, the depth of their depravity was more apparent then I have ever witnessed in any other Les Mis adaptation (and I'm pretty sure I've seen every one out there to date). Never did I think upon viewing this film I would walk away saying to myself, "Wow. Borat and Bellatrix were just amazing!"

*Public Announcement: Parents of newborns. Find a sitter. For the love of all that is chocolate, find a gee dee babysitter. Do not take your infant to a movie that is 3 hours long and contains cannon and musket-fire. What is wrong with you? Did you take stupid pills or something? I know you're running on little-to-no sleep and Les Mis is simply not a movie you can wait for the DVD, but pull your head out of your butt and find someone to watch your baby. Yes, the awful death-stare I gave you was totally warranted. Ruin my movie and I will ruin your face (not literally but I will give you the side-eye).
(there were not one but two couples in attendance at Les Mis who brought their newborn babies. while they were quieter than I anticipated, it's still outrageously dumb.)