Movie-gasm

Recently the hubs and I have reunited with our love of the movie theater. It seems as though we've been to the movies almost every weekend and I'm sure we'll be back soon to see Django Unchained. So I suppose rather than picking one, I'll just tell you about them all.

Cinematic Review

I'll try to keep my comments short and sweet. My apologies in advance for any unnecessary rambling.

I freaking miss this show

Lincoln

So good. So so so good. Cinematography - amazeballs. Story line - enrapturing. Cast - star studded to the point that several times hubby and I looked at each other in surprise as we recognized our favorite actors. Mostly because we don't have actual tv (we're a netflix family) so we haven't seen the commercials to know that Tommy Lee Jones, James Spader, and Joseph Gorden Levitt had starring roles. I know, I know. The rock that we live under is actually quite nice. There's been a humongous drop in our douche-intake since we've cut out cable.

Even he's not sure what movies he's in these days

Back to Lincoln...this film will have you cracking up and crying the next minute. Daniel Day-Lewis is a freaking genius and I can't imagine a better Abraham Lincoln. Sally Fields (yes that Sally Fields) does wonders with Mary Todd Lincoln. History has her recorded as some loony toon because she publicly mourned the loss of their son. Hey history, give her a freaking break. Nobody in their right mind would just brush it off like she misplaced her favorite lip gloss. My dog gets sick and I turn into a one-woman soap opera. I cannot imagine the toll losing a child would take. But Fields makes it real in a way that I've never seen before. Remember when she was M'Lynn in Steel Magnolias? It's like that with petticoats and fancy dialogue...but better.

"Mary my dear, I believe this wallpaper is called blush and bashful"
"Abe...the cullah is pink and pink" - Not actual lines from the movie.

K...I'm rambling. Moving on.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Adventure

Three words: Not. For. No0bs.

If you know nothing of the Tolkien franchise, you're gonna have a bad time. It's very long and requires a deep love of LOTR characters. Also, don't go watch it at 11:35 pm on a day when you got up at 4am. As exciting as it is, you're going to want to crawl inside Gandalf's beard and go night-night.

The highlights for me included:

• Seeing my fave Sherlock character as a hobbit.

• Smeagol/Gollum

The perfect mix of creepy and cute

• The foundation of events to come in LOTR. It was so exciting to see the birth of some of my favorite scenes from back in the day...I mean in the future Middle Earth. Um, yeah. You know what I mean.

Les Miserables

Tears. Oh sweet heavens, the tears. I cried no less than seventeen times. Partly because of the special place Jean Valjean holds in my heart and partly because it was just so damn breathtaking. So much sadness. So much beauty. And no matter what that hack-piece-of-crap-poser Adam Lambert says, this cast is phenomenal. If you are a true lover of the theatre and have not ventured out into the crowds to see this masterpiece yet, I'm assuming it's because you have some misgivings about Russel Crow, Anne Hathaway, and Amanda Seyfried. I hear ya. I was less than thrilled myself. BUT GUYS. You will be not just surprised, but flabbergasted over their talents. Russel Crow sings his ass off like the whole damned movie. He killed it as Javert (and I saw the great Roger Allam when we stopped in for a show on Broadway that I just happened to be at...yes. Be jealous.) Anne Hathaway, er-mah-gerd. Granted, she's good in just about everything but srsly. Victor Hugo couldn't have picked a better Fantine himself. Seyfried is great as Cosette. Granted adult Cosette isn't in much of the film but when she sings, it's perfect. Have I mentioned that they sang this movie in real time?!?! No over-polished studio dubbing. They sang the whole thing.

Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean? No words. No freaking words. Other than I'm in love with you and want to have your wolverine cubs.

No srsly, take me now.

The breakout performances have to go to Sacha Baron-Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter though. What they did with the Thénardiers is sheer perfection. Not only were they the perfect couple that everyone loves to hate, the depth of their depravity was more apparent then I have ever witnessed in any other Les Mis adaptation (and I'm pretty sure I've seen every one out there to date). Never did I think upon viewing this film I would walk away saying to myself, "Wow. Borat and Bellatrix were just amazing!"

*Public Announcement: Parents of newborns. Find a sitter. For the love of all that is chocolate, find a gee dee babysitter. Do not take your infant to a movie that is 3 hours long and contains cannon and musket-fire. What is wrong with you? Did you take stupid pills or something? I know you're running on little-to-no sleep and Les Mis is simply not a movie you can wait for the DVD, but pull your head out of your butt and find someone to watch your baby. Yes, the awful death-stare I gave you was totally warranted. Ruin my movie and I will ruin your face (not literally but I will give you the side-eye).
(there were not one but two couples in attendance at Les Mis who brought their newborn babies. while they were quieter than I anticipated, it's still outrageously dumb.)

Thoughts for Thursday: Things I Miss About Austin

In two weeks the hubs and I will be making a brief return to the ATX. We couldn't be more excited. It seems like everyday we have just one more place we want to see while we are there.

It's amazing how much you might never realize how lucky you are to live in such a great place, until you actively choose to live somewhere else. Don't get me wrong. We love our little house in the country. The silence is fabulous and I can't tell you how nice it is to live without neighbors cramping our style. Sassy can go on an all night barking rampage and the only people she's going to bother are us. That's beyond refreshing. There are some key things about life in the city that we sure do miss, though.

1. Rudy's BBQ - OMG what I would do for a 1/4 lb. of extra moist brisket right now......mmmmm...and some creamed corn. Sweet Baby Jesus that creamed corn could bring peace to the Middle East. Why haven't we tried that? Your move, government. But fo' realz, you just can't get good barbecue in this part of the state. Don't even try to suggest Hard 8. It's overpriced crap with a bunch of country decorations on the wall to trick you. Don't be fooled.

2. The Alamo Drafthouse Cinema - You might be wondering why I'm not posting movie reviews every Monday like the good ol' days. Well, it's because going to the movie theater kind of sucks now. Even if the theater nearest to us is playing the movie we want to see (which is damn near never) it still sucks. Since first moving to Austin, movies have become synonymous with fried pickle spears and an organic root beer. You know what I get at the regular movies? Popcorn and a cherry coke. How freaking lame is that? They don't even have mocha flavored milkshakes (with those little chocolate covered espresso beans on top). Get with the program people! Last weekend we went to see Lincoln (all the way in Abilene for goodness' sake) and the lady behind us started talking on her cell phone. At the drafthouse that kind of rude, ignorant, jackass behavior is punishable by banishment. Ok, that sounds extreme. But srsly, they'll kick your ass out.

And though we never actually attended a Master Pancake showing, we always talked about going and now I'm sad we never did. You'll always have a place in my heart Drafthouse. The place that loves nothing more than standing in line for an hour to sit in a room smelling vaguely of pee and being waited on by hipsters. Jesus, I miss this place.

3. Our Church - Are you surprised? I would be too if I knew me. We attended St. Mary's Cathedral in downtown Austin in an all too non-frequent manner. There for a while, we were really good about going to Sunday night Mass but when the wedding started quickly approaching, our attendance dropped some. In the middle of this uber hectic downtown, there rests a Cathedral almost as old as Austin herself. Outside are tall buildings, pigeons galore, and traffic that could put a person in convulsions. But inside, oh man inside, there is a peace that I've never experienced anywhere else. In fact, in the few times that we would make it early it was everything I had in me to keep me awake. I'm not sure if it's the incense or the dimmed lights or even the soothing voice of the Priests, this church was the very meaning of peace and security for me. There aren't even minutes in my day-to-day life that I'm not anxious about. In fact, at this very minute I'm anxious that you are hating me with every word I type because you love Hard 8 and everything about it. (If that's the case, I'm can learn to live with not being friends anymore. Clearly we have nothing in common.) Or maybe you're Protestant or Agnostic even and have been conditioned to believe us Catholics are just awful. I'm sure that's at least partly right, because, well most people are awful but that's true for all religions. Don't hate. I would never cast judgement on you for your beliefs. Walking in the heavy wooden doors of this outstanding landmark melts all of my anxieties away. Well, all but one. Can I just say how much I don't enjoy the "Peace be with you segment" of our beloved Mass? I have no qualms with wishing peace and happiness upon those sitting near me. No, not at all. But in this day of rapid spreading influenza, do we really have to shake hands? I don't know where you've been. I don't know when you've last washed your hands. That's quite a selfish attitude, I know.

personal picture taken by moi

4. Target - I have had a long love affair with Target. My workplace in Austin was withing walking distance to Target. I made that journey Every. Single. Day. Rain, snow or shine, I was there. Granted this was terrible for my pocket book, but good for my soul. I became quick friends with the cashiers and baristas. What's up Jasper and Rosa?! Miss you guys! Since moving to the boonies, the nearest store is 45 minutes away. The withdrawals are terrible. I often find myself browsing their website then quickly reminding myself that I have no money. I just need to be there. To smell the mixture of popcorn and Starbucks. To peruse the dollar section. To buy a chocolate milk and string cheese for second breakfast because I'm half hobbit.

5. Friends - no not the TV show. Actual friends. Part of moving back to the Stephenville area was supposed to be reuniting with my girlfriends...whom I've seen exactly twice in four months. That's not ok, but part of that blame falls on my lap for not being available on weekday nights. In Austin, my co-workers were my family. Of course there were those few family members that I wanted nothing more than to choke out (joking!) but for the most part I really truly loved every person there. It hurts my heart to not see these people day to day. There are things I thought I would never miss that I find myself pining for now. Like that one guy's crazy laugh, or diet tips that were really unwarranted, or finding your manager rocking in fetal position behind the store. I miss you guys. A lot. Be warned, there is a good chance I will tear up when I see you in two weeks. Mer, it's probably a good thing you'll be out of town because I could hug you to pieces. Literal pieces. Then I would pack you up and take you to work with me every day and prop you up in my office because work totally sucks without you.

Movie Review Whatevertheheckdaythisis: The TIme Traveler's Wife

After weeks and weeks of waiting for The Time Traveler's Wife to arrive in my mailbox sporting a certain red envelope, it's here.

After a very successful trip to the podiatrist (that's a story for another time) I decided to use the rest of my afternoon to just chill with this chick flick.

The short story of Time Traveler's Wife (free in iBooks) is an absolute fave of mine. Great read...great great read. There is an expanded novel version published in 2003 that has fantastic reviews but I have not read it...yet. Give me time. So as you can imagine, I was stoked to find a movie of the same title starring Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams.

Guess what....if I could time travel, I would go back to two hours ago and just put this piece of crap back in the mail.

Barf - o - rama

No amount of naked Eric Bana could make this a movie worth watching. It's corny, unbelievable, and just damn annoying. I can see where it would have rocked as a book, but the transition to screen freaking blows.

I expected more from exec producer Brad Pitt. I'm not sure why, but I did.

YouTube Tuesday: Have a yabba dabba do time

Oh my gosh guys, has it really been 6 whole weeks since I've been on here?

My deepest apologies to my friends, readers, and fellow bloggers who must have noticed a distinct drop in their page views.

The thing is...I've been swamped. Like so busy I don't have time to finish projects I started weeks ago. So busy I forget to shave my legs, write out my grocery lists, or get gas until that friendly little light comes on. This time of year is both my favorite, and when I'm at my most harried. I love the joy of Thanksgiving and Christmas but haaaaate how hectic it makes life.Working in retail during the holiday season is ugly enough, I won't bore you with the details.

 Remember when we were kids and the only thing we had to remember was when to set the VCR to tape The Flintstones Christmas Special? Yeah, that was nice. I miss that.

So here. Go. Watch. Forget about the wrapping paper, that damn elf on the shelf (srsly ladies, it's creepy), the endless lists of things to do. Gather your kids, or puppies, or kittens, or purple brontosauruses and enjoy.

Merry Christmas. Ho Ho Ho. Yabba Dabba Do.

Operation: Eat Like An Adult

Y'all...I eat like a 5 year old. Srsly. It's not even funny any more. I've decided that if I'm ever going to be healthy enough to grow a human being, I need to start eating better. Between my family history and diet habits, I am most definitely going to contract diabetes and or some form of cancer someday. Gestational diabetes is almost a certainty if I can ever talk my husband into procreating. I know that the change has to start with my diet. If I'm going to be a better, more energetic, healthier person/momma, I have to do like MJ says and start with the man (or woman) in the mirror.

You're welcome.

Now, let me apply a disclaimer and state that I am not starting any sort of diet or program. I'm not looking for a temporary weight loss solution. I'm looking for a life style change that fits my goals and will-power. For the love of gawd, I do not want to borrow your book on Paleo. K? K.

I'm not listening!

I am going to change the following:

No More Sodas!

Read my lips...no more soda, pop, cokes, or anything else that carbonated high fructose corn syrup is called. I've done this before but I'm going to make sure all of you hold me accountable to this long term. When I've cut out sodas in the past, I've instantly slimmed down. Again, my weight is not what I'm concerned about in this venture but my health. My aunt used to drink a few sodas a day and she got kidney stones. I know that if I don't cut them out, I'll be along that path. I do NOT want to experience kidney stones. Yikes.

Less Sugar!

I hate to admit this, but I freaking love sugar. I love all things sugar related. And I'm not just talking candy here, I'm talking about desserts, carbs that turn into sugar, natural sugars like fruit, and coffee syrups. OMG the coffee syrups. It's no secret that my love for Starbucks and the like knows no bound. I have a freaking gold card for goodness' sake. But I don't like my coffee, latte, or cappuccino black. No sir. I want that coffee to double as dessert. When I drink a latte, it's like I can actually hear myself getting fatter (gold star if you get that reference). So I'm going to use more splenda and cut back on the sugary syrups. Who knows, maybe one day I can drink my coffee black. I'm also giving up the little kid breakfast cereals. Bye bye Count Chocula...hello Special K!

More Veggies!

I'm really pretty good about eating my veggies. I love salads, even with spinach leaves. Granted, I freaking hate cooked spinach, but throw some raw leaves in my salad and I'm a happy camper. Bell peppers...that rings my bell. Cucumbers...not just for disgusting jokes anymore. Squash...yeah still pretty gross but I'll work on it. I've read (somewhere on the interwebs, not sure where) that veggies can lessen the risk for breast cancer...a major scare for me (and probably my husband).

Less Fried Foods

For the last 26 years "grease" has been the word. Not anymore. Case in point: my friend invited me out for Mexican today for lunch. Rather than getting grilled chicken, I chose the taco/cheese enchilada plate. Right now I have heartburn so bad I'm miserable. Why did i get that awful lunch? Why didn't I just say, Not today. Today I packed a healthy lunch so I'm going to have that instead. Idiot. Now I will hate myself until I can, maybe, quell the raging inferno in my chest with Tums when I get home...an hour and a half from now. Damn tacos! Damn all the tacos!

So for now friends, I ask for your support. Not your judgement or nit-picking. I will be healthy enough to have a baby some day. I just hope that day comes sooner than later. The older I get, the harder it's going to be

*cough cough that's what she said cough cough

 

YTT/WW: A Match Made in Disney Heaven

This week's YouTube Tuesday and Wedding Wednesday combine together to celebrate the nuptuals of my lovely Aunt Christina and her new husband Bill.

A little back story...

My mom's step-sister and brother (my aunt and uncle) are several years younger than my mom, making them not too many years older than me. So when I spent my summers with my grandparents, it was like gaining older siblings for a few months. It freaking rocked. I was close enough in age to hang out with them (because they're super nice) but young enough for them to still think I'm cute and not entirely a pain in the ass. It probably helped that I worshiped them like gods because they were teenagers and that was the highest form of cool in my world.

My aunt Christina has always had a serious thing for Disney movies. Like, she could put the Walt Disney World Guest Services people to shame. She even named her beautiful daughter, my Jr. Bridesmaid, Jasmine. I'm tossing around the idea of a "Bullseye" or "Nemo" myself. JK.

So in her and her new hubby prince's honor, here's a YouTube video of Disney (and some Fox Animation..smh) wedding scenes.

Chris, you outshone everyone of these princesses on Saturday. You were BEAUTIFUL. I'm just so sorry I couldn't be there. They really should make Texas and Michigan closer.

personal photo of the BEAUTIFUL bride via Aunt Linds

I have one more video for you today. It's not wedding related but it is Disney Princesses. If you're ever having a bad day, like for instance, you are missing out on one of your favorite-people-in-the-world's wedding, just watch this. It won't heal the hurt, but it will put a smile on your face.

You Go Glen Coco.

Movie Review Monday: Looper

Last weekend (sorry for the delay) the hubs and I made the journey into town to see Joseph Gordon Levitt's new film "Looper." Um, wow. First let me start off by saying, we are major MAJOR major JGL fans in this house. Like, the fact that my husband's first name is the name of a JGL character kind of sealed the deal for me. And Cam's had a pretty serious man-crush on him since 50/50, possibly since even before then. For me, it was "Angels in the Outfield" when I was 7. Hells yeah. So, it goes without saying that we. were. stoked. for "Looper."

Whoa.

Although "Looper" is set in the pretty near future, 2044, it isn't your average cautionary tale. The same themes were there as other "future" films...drugs, sex, and crime overload. But there wasn't a sob story moral of how we should change our lives now so the world doesn't go to Hell in a hand basket. That was slightly refreshing...but also scary as crap. According to this movie, shit's about to get real...and not in a good way.

I thought it was super long, but the film is really only 2 hours long. You're pumped with information for a long time before you really figure anything out and the whole thing feels like the climax of the movie. There's not a lot of build-up. Just OMG this is the craziest thing ever...no now this is...no wait, holy crap!

I took 5 things from this movie:

1. I will never be able to take the dad from "Raising Hope" seriously.

2. Bruce Willis was, is, and always will be a BAMF.

3. One day the whole world will be a city, just like in Star Wars.

Actually, Toto, we really are still in Kansas.

4. Little kids are terrifying.

(I can't find a picture of this on the entire Internet, but just take my word on this one.)

5. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a thespian genius. Somebody give this kid every award available.

Srsly...what can he NOT do?