Movie Review Monday: Haaaave You Met Ted?

Sorry, sorry. I can't help but throw in a little HIMYM humor when I can.

But of course I'm not talking about this Ted:

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But THIS Ted:


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While I have not been so kind in my previous movie reviews, I have to say this one was definitely worth the cost of tickets. I give it a solid A-.

Naturally, the idea of a living, talking, bong-hitting teddy bear is pretty far-fetched so anyone who comes out of this movie saying, "I just didn't think it was very believable" needs to get smacked right across the face. Neither is Star Trek, dip-shit, but I bet you watch the hell out it.

Most of the movie runs like one long Family Guy episode, but that's to be expected in Seth MacFarlane's first feature length film.

Mark Wahlberg is....well, Mark Wahlberg (terrible 1-dimensional actor but pretty to look at and at least sounds like he's from Boston).



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 Mila Kunis is spectacular as usual. She's so equally funny and gorgeous that it just isn't freakin' fair. Couldn't she at least have a tail or something?

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Being that "Ted" is CG-animation and brought to life by Seth MacFarlane himself, he's pretty much the funniest piece of fluff since Alf. A fuzzy alien who eats "cats" is pretty hard to beat though.



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 The real break out stars of this movie though? Joel McHale and Giovanni Ribisi.


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While it's absolutely no surprise that Joel McHale would play a really good asshole or that Giovanni Ribisi would be a really good creeper...they really showcase their natural born talents in "Ted." McHale is always deliciously funny but casted as a sexual harassing boss? Wow. Hats off to the casting director on that one. I mean, seriously, bravo. It probably wasn't a long list for that role but you really hit the nail on the head. And let's face it, creepy dad is the role that Ribisi was born to play. From the time that he was on Friends we've all thought the same thing "does that guy have a horrible disease or is he just a serial killer?" There is a scene where he dances to Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now" and I, hand to God, spilled my popcorn because I was laughing so hard. Honestly, people, if that doesn't make you want to run out and buy tickets, well you don't have a sense of humor whatsoever. Life is probably going to be hard for you.

All-in-all I have to say "Ted" is a gut-busting good time. It probably isn't going to change your life but you will have sore abdominal muscles from laughing for 2 hours straight. If you are easily offended, this probably isn't your flick. You should really grow a funny bone though. God won't be upset with you, I'm almost sure of it.

I know after watching this movie, everyone wishes they had a magical bear like Ted, but I sort of wish that instead of a foul-mouthed bear, I had a sassy talking Cabbage Patch kid to rank of other people's clothing options with. Maybe a skanky Barbie with heart of gold. No no, Cabbage Patch Kid it is. That weird little belly button and butt tattoo always make me smile.