YouTube...Wednesday?!?!

Sorry for the delay in YouTube Tuesday guys. I've been outlandishly sick this week. First a stomach virus that the doctor said I probably picked up from eating something weird. Then yesterday I came down with a sinus infection out of nowhere. So today I'm posting yesterday's weekly in between NyQuil induced naps and Pinterest searches for Vick's remedies.

Some of you know that on Friday evening, the hubs and I went to the Summerland Tour concert at the Moody Theater here in Austin. Even though I was sick, it was still the most epic concert of my life. Each act got better and better. By the time the evening ended, I was on cloud 90s (tee hee). Granted that could be due to the vodka+red bulls that I downed like water. I promise I will write a whole post about our evening when I'm feeling better. But just to wet your appetites for now, here is one 90s music video from each band that we saw that night. Remember when music videos were still on TV? Ah those were the good ol' days.

All videos courtesy of YouTube...obviously. On another note, there will be no Wedding Recap Wednesday this week...sorry. I know that's two weeks in a row but I need to go lay down now. Ugh.

Movie Review Monday: Magic Mike

 

Actually...I would like to know what he has to do for twenties.

When the commercial for Magic Mike graced my television screen, I gave my husband the biggest ear splitting grin...to which he promptly replied with "go f yourself if you think I'm taking you to see that." What can I say, he has a way with words. Practically Hemingway in the flesh. Of course I never expected him to take me to a movie about male strippers (and quid pro quo babe), that's what girlfriends and gays are for. 

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Now it took a little finagling and a couple of trips, but my two girls A and J and I were actually able to get into a showing last Tuesday evening. We were crammed into "not very bad" seats directly in front of some rude ass middle-aged women. They snuck in beer for god's sake. And not even good beer, I know because I smelled it from the belches happening directly behind my head. I might not be very polite but at least I'm a lady enough to not sneak in beer to a movie theater. Go to the draft house for that shit, bitch.

Let me just say now, I want my 2 hours and $10 back. That shit sucked.

Obviously I, nor any other body in that room, did not actually go to see Magic Mike because of the compelling story line. I went because Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Manganiello, Adam Rodriguez, and Matthew McConaughey get (almost) naked and dance. But they tried to deliver a compelling story line that sucked, bad. The love story was weird. The supporting characters had like 2 lines at the most. I was elated to see the one and only Mr. Matt Bomer in this movie and his only lines were really creepy. Why in they hell did they cast him as a married perv? He's out and proud! And he looks and acts like a gay man. Why not cast him as a gay man? Most male strippers are in fact homosexual, from what I've been told. Why make it weird Channing? Why? 

I'm still not sure about Olivia Munn's character. And at one point, I kind of think they encouraged doing ecstasy. And for the record, Channing Tatum should never, EVER, cry. He was not put on this earth to be filmed looking pitiful. He is here to look hot. End of story.

Save your dollars for the live show ladies. And just imagine we live in a world where some day, there will be a place, where there are men as smoking hot as this cast actually taking their clothes off in real life. 

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I know where I'll be planning my friends' bachelorette parties in the future if that dream ever comes true.

YouTube Tuesday: F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

This week I kind of suck as a blogger.

Movie Review Monday was a major disappointment, today I have not a single relevant video for YouTube Tuesday, and due to the holiday, tomorrow there will be no Wedding Recap Wednesday. My apologies to all of you who actually read this drivel.

With that, I leave you a mix of some of the best moments of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. All of us who grew up in the 90s know what an awesome show this was and how it affected American culture as we know it. Rarely does a day go by that I don't catch a rerun at least once. Gotta love syndication.

Movie Review Monday: The King's Speech

So I really wanted to have some alliteration in today's edition of Movie Review Monday with Magic Mike. The fates would not allow it though. My friends and I got totally box-blocked (look it up at Urban Dictionary) at the theater yesterday when we tried to see Misters Tatum, McConaughey, Bomer and friends. We're going to try again tomorrow after work, hopefully with much more success. Get prepared for a full review next week.

This week's MRM will have to be about critically acclaimed and Academy Award winning The King's Speech. Those of you who know me well, know that I am a fah-reak when it comes to the British monarchy. I have no less than 3 books on the Tudor Dynasty. I watch PBS specifically to learn about Queen Elizabeth II's life on and before the throne. I know, I know. N.E.R.D.

I really expected to enjoy the story of Elizabeth II's father. Unfortunately, I thought it was beyond boring. I didn't even watch the whole movie. I just couldn't force myself to spend two hours reliving King George II get over his stammering problem. I will say the actors were fantastic! Helena Bonham Carter never ceases to amaze me. God that woman has talent spewing from her pores. And Colin Firth was amaze-balls as usual. The story line just didn't do anything for me. I felt like it could have been covered in 30 minutes rather than 2 hours. My apologies to the academy...I would hate to disagree with you, but that shit was lame.



Zzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzz



Now this looks much more entertaining



Edge of Glory: Gifts that Rock

A couple of weeks before the wedding Mr. Catkins and I agreed to set a $20 limit on our wedding day gifts to each other. One of us held up our end of the agreement. One of us is really glad that the other one did not, in fact, hold up his end of the agreement.

For Mr. Catkins gift, I wrote a note telling him very mushy personal things. I actually stepped out of my bitchy shell and told him my true genuine feelings. Shocking, I know. And just to make sure he knew that I didn't have a stroke, I wrote out the "you're the cheese to my macaroni" scene from Juno.

Much Better

Then I put together a "Groom's Wedding Day Survival Kit." I have to admit I found most of this idea online, and I cannot for the life of me remember where. Probably Weddingbee. Oh, and I've also lost all the pictures that I had of it. Changing phones is clearly one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. Anywhoodle, here's a list of what was in it. I put a homemade tag around each item with a cute description of what it was for.

• Carmex "For Kissably Soft Lips"
• Tic Tacs "For Stank Breath"
• Compass "To Help You Find the Aisle"
• Antique Pocket Watch "So You Make It On Time"
• Small bottle of liquor "Liquid Courage...like you need it"
• Tums "Tum Tum Tum Tum" (wedding march)
• Tide Pen "Keepin' It Real" (we are both notorious for spilling food on our clothes)

I feel certain there was more, but like I said, I've lost all photo documentation of this gift. He seemed to be moderately amused by it. I think he appreciated the note more than anything. Plus, he generally thinks crafts are lame so maybe I should have just stuck with the antique pocket watch. But noooo, I had to get all "Pinterest" on that shiz.

Now: His gift to me.

Let me say this. There were some pimp-ass sunglasses in this gift bag, but the real gift? Proof that he listens. I've been wanting some Ray-Ban Wayfarers for more than a year. But I'm that person that loses sunglasses every time I turn around so I always end up buying them from Sam Moon for less than $10. That is the real reason why I start crying. Oh for goodness' sake, the photos tell the story itself.

Shut. The. Front. Door.

He listened!

Oh Jesus, he listened.

Ugly cry face. Awesome.

Real women fan their face when they cry. It's a curvy thing.

Waterproof - my big white ass.

Someone put these away and make it stop!

 Attention Grooms: If you want your bride to become super emotional, don't write a sappy note. In fact just forget the note altogether. Don't buy jewelry. Just get some sweet Ray-Ban's and she will lose her shit like she's watching The Notebook for the first time.----Is apparently what popped into my husband's head days before the wedding.

I will admit that it does make me sad that my gift didn't leave as much of an impact, but I'm pretty selfish so I'm cool with being the one to receive the cool gift. Just tryin' to keep it real yo.

All photos by Illuminate Photography unless otherwise noted.

YouTube Tuesday: Portlandia

Recently, thanks to my friend A, I discovered a little show called Portlandia.

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It's a short-based comedy starring and written by Carrie Brownstein and SNL's Fred Armisen on IFC - the Independent Film Channel. The show is centered around the hipster-Mecca, Portland, Oregon. Granted I've never been there, but living in another Hipster Paradise, Austin, I definitely understand everything. Some people take defense as if they're attacking today's progressive lifestyle, but really it's a sort of hubris. Most people I know are guilty of many of the topics that they make fun of. Hell, I saw myself reflected in both the "technology overload" and "put a bird on it" shorts. Even though I constantly bitch about hipsters, I know that compared to my immediate friends and family I'm practically a fat Zoeey Deschanel.


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There's a particular short on Portlandia that struck pretty close to home. And by home I mean the place where I spend most of my waking hours, work.

"You want the Simply Everything Plus Plan"
"What's that?"
"It's simply everything...plus text."
OMG...that is freaking hilarious. I know you're supposed to get mad at the Wireless Toyz employee, but I feel for him. Trust me, he doesn't want to be as big of a doucher as he is forced to be.

Thus ends another YouTube Tuesday. Thanks for hanging out with me. Oh, and you can find Season 1 of Portlandia (which includes the episode with this clip) on Netflix.

Portland--it's where young people go to retire.

Movie Review Monday: Rock of Ages (NWR)

You might be wondering what the deal-io is with all of the NWR (non wedding related) non sequitur posts. There's 3 simple answers to this.
1) I'm sort of sick about talking about the wedding. I mean I loved it, I'm glad we did it. I'm just ready to move on.
2) In an effort to keep myself regularly blogging, I need structure in my life. So you will see "Movie Review Mondays" "YouTube Tuesdays" and "Wedding Recap Wednesdays" (well, until I can't possibly talk about the wedding anymore. Don't fret my pets, there's a lot to cover. Please contain your excitement.)
3) The scatter-brained crazy person writing this blog cannot possibly keep her train of thought on one subject. My apologies to all of you stream-lined thinking normal people. Also, you suck.

So without further ado...

When we saw the first ad for Rock of Ages while watching TV one night, I looked at my husband with the biggest "please please please!" smile slapped across my face. The same one that I use when I want fried pickles at...well anywhere that serves fried pickles. Being that it premiered on June 15th, my rationalization was "you can take me for my birthday". He reminded me that he was getting me a purse for my birthday and then I reminded him that it is possible to do both. Well the 15th came and went with my hubby out of town. You might remember my lament from a couple of posts ago. So when this weekend rolled around, this movie was my mission in life.

Friday night: sold out.  :(
Saturday night: sold out.  >:(
Sunday afternoon: SUCCESS!  :D

After being disappointed all weekend, we made sure to purchase tickets several hours in advance and showed up to the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema almost a whole hour before the movie started to get in line. A little excessive, I know, but dammit I was not going to miss Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx.

Source: WM Magazine

I mean seriously. That guy, craze-balls as he might be, is one EPIC chamellion.

Once we got settled into our seats we ordered our food and drinks. If you aren't familiar with the Alamo Drafthouse, they have a full menu plus a bar menu. Granted, the food there is a little pricey so a night at the movies for two can be upwards of $50. The hubs ordered green chile queso fries and a beer. I stuck with a small (small = humongous) popcorn and a Dr. Pepper and we shared some fried pickle spears. Honestly...Frued would probably have a hay-day with my obsession with fried pickles.

Another perk of the Drafthouse is that before the movie starts, en lieu of lame trivia, they play cartoons or film clips pertaining to the movie that you are about to watch. So for Rock of Ages they played 80s hair-band music videos. It was both nastolgic and hilarious. David Lee Roth is a ham...and probably killer in the sack...just sayin'.

All in all the movie was pretty awesome. There were some goof-ball moments that I know made my husband roll his eyes. I wanted to punch Julianne Hough in the face pretty much everytime she came on screen...which was a lot, being that she was the lead. Alec Baldwin and Russel Brand were hilarious as usual but left me wishing they had rehearsed more. Mary J. Blige blew me out of the water. I mean wow. And Tom Cruise! Holy Crap was he awesome! Genius...just genius. Diego Boneta was...well...cute. And he had a fantastic singing voice. That's about it. I'm not a movie star or anything but I feel like you don't want your viewers thinking "well, at least he's attractive."

I bet the play is killer. If it's still running when we (someday far far off into the future) go to NYC I hope we can get tickets. It was clearly pulled straight from broadway with little to no adaptation. There were times when I could actually see the stage set in my head.

Thoughts leaving the theater:
Mr. Catkins: "I didn't know it was a musical."
Mrs. Chatkins: "Seriously? Have we met? Of course it was a musical."
Mr. Catkins: "Dork."

Ahhh wedded bliss.