***First of all, before I even start this post, let me apologize for the (now 3) non sequitur NWR posts. I have 2 computers at home and both screens are messed up so I am unable to continue the story of our wedding until at least one of them gets fixed. "Well, how are you typing this lovely piece of blog heaven?" you might be asking yourself. From work, where I'd rather not upload all one thousand of my wedding pictures. Some would say I shouldn't be blogging from work at all, and that is probably right. However, I'm taking my fifteen minute break so: suck it corporate ya-hoos.
With that being said, I've spent the last couple of weeks really deciding what I want to do with my life. I know, I should have had this internal discussion YEARS ago...like in high school, when you are supposed to make those decisions. But when I was in high school I wanted to be something else every other day. First it was Broadway actress, then a more reasonable casting director, then an even more realistic museum curator (until I found out most museums rely on unpaid volunteer work). At some point I wanted to be a history teacher, then I remembered that patience is not my virtue but is something that is desperately required in teachers. Finally I settled on a Communications degree and thought I would go into PR or Advertising. Right, because it's that simple.
Unfortunately, I've done none of those things. That's not to say that I'm unhappy in life. I have a steady, well paying job and am married to the love of my life who pretends to care about my dream de jour. I remember someone (not sure if it was my high school guidance counselor, a professor, or Oprah) telling me to find that one thing that I love to do in life and make a career out of it. I love so many things though! I remember my formative years on stage and it brings me back to such a happy place. I know I'm not cut out for stage or screen but damn I loved that time in my life. I love love love to do crafts but unfortunately I suck big time at it. Very few of my DIY projects turn out they way I planned.
But I think most of all in this world, I love to read. I love reading old books, new books, classic romances, fantasies, young adult, very adult (see my last post on Fifty Shades of Grey), thrillers, and even silly comedies. My favorite night of the month is when my book club gets together and for those two hours, we have a real, grown-up discussion about literature. Oh how I would love to turn this into my life's ambition! But what kind of job will pay me to sit in my sweats and read? I could go into publishing but I'm worried it's too late for me. I feel like I should have started this journey in college. Should I have moved to NYC when given the opportunity 7 years ago? I'm not saying I have regrets about how my life has turned out. I love my little family and I can't wait to move into my quiet house in the country. I'm just mad at myself that I could have a career that I love, rather than tolerate, and by now I could be working in the publishing biz at home, in the country with my hubby and puppies.
I've applied for an internship working with authors via email as a developmental editor. I really hope that I am accepted into that program, if not for my career but for my personal development. I have big doubts that I will hear back from them any time soon. In the mean time, I'll just hug my kindle close and dream of the day when I can write book reports for a living.
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