YouTube Tuesday: 2012 London Olympics

I have a problem. I am utterly obsessed with the Olympics. Like, it's not even remotely ok how much I watch the Olympic games. For the record, I do not have an athletic bone in my body and I normally hate televised sports. Seriously, all televised baseball games should be solely sponsored by Ambien (my apologies to all of my die-hard Rangers fan friends...I just don't get it). So it goes without saying that my utter need to watch every (and I mean every) Olympic game is totes bazaar.

lolz

Rex-Kwon-Do...fashion genius

With the Summer games well under way, I thought it would be fun to review some of the ridiculous things the commentators say. "In this arena tonight are some of the world's best gymnasts."---Umm no shit Sherlock. Alas, there aren't any really good videos compiling all of the stupid comments so far from this year. So in it's stead, here are the 2012 Kitty Cat Olympics. Enjoy!

Movie Review Monday:Nananananananana

BATMAN!

Bertmern!!!

That's right, hubby and I took a few hours out of our obsessive Olympic games watching to finally see "The Dark Knight Rises." I'm an avid superhero movie lover and my husband tolerates my nerdiness with such sweet devotion. Four years ago (cheesus has it been that long already?!) when the second movie in this series "The Dark Knight" came out, I had to drab him kicking and screaming. We had traveled to the next town over from where we lived back then so we could use the "good" theater to watch "Step Brothers." But there was a miscommunication between the theater and Fandango and we missed the first 20 minutes of it. Rather than busting into a movie that was well under way, I convinced him to see the new Batman flick. How did it go? He friggin' loved it. The next day he was watching my DVR'd "Batman Begins" and going on and on about how awesome it was. Of course it was! Why does anyone doubt me?

We've been totally stoked about continuing the series and when they released the premier date, I almost peed a little bit. Christian Bale has always been a favorite of mine. I've followed him ever since I was 11 and we watched "Newsies" in 6th grade choir.

Oh Cowboy.....take me to Santa Fe with you

I even dated a boy at 11th grade Drama District Competition (for the whole afternoon that is) simply because he looked a bit like Christian Bale (what? don't judge me!). Alas, whats-his-face went to another school and was not nearly as cool as "Cowboy."

After seeing TDKR I can honestly say Bale has not lost his touch. He is still every bit the method, meticulous, and just all around amaze-balls actor he has always been. I know, I know. This is indeed the guy who lost his cool on the set of T3 or T4 or whatever the hell it was (ok, so I don't follow him close enough to watch that crap...but I bet he's amazing in it). Some days I would like to freak the fuck out on my team too but, you know, I'm just a tad bit more expendable than one Mr. Christian Bale.

In his third round as Bruce Wayne, he doesn't disappoint. He still kicks ass and makes you see the wounded, battered soul of Batman's alter ego. I won't go into details of what happens in the film but I say it is a must-see. Especially if you are a comic book graphic novel junkie, super hero enthusiast, or just all around nerd like me. Anne Hathaway shines like always. She has some cheesy one-liners but I don't blame her for that.

Meow!

Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, and Morgan Freeman are everything we remember them being in their various father figure rolls for Bruce.

Commissioner Gordon

Lucius Fox

Alfred

Tom Hardy was scary as shit (but mostly I think it was just that voice and the mask) so well done there.

Nightmare inducing fo' sho'

The real break-out stars of this movie (besides the never failing Bale) were Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Marion Cotillard.

Yum

This is the ugliest picture I could find of her on the internet...not fair.

 Both of their parts seem pretty minuscule in the beginning of the movie but by the time shit gets real and you're on the edge of your seat they blow you away. Well, one of them is pretty Gee-Dee obvious but I almost came unglued with the other. Marion Cotillard excels as usual as a damsel in distress/femme fatal and Gordon-Levitt is...well...a boy wonder in his acting skills. But then again, anything either of them do these days is just all around fucking amazing.

Does anyone else think Christopher Nolan used Inception as TDKR auditions? Because if not, this guy's casting agent has a pretty small pool of talent.

All in all, I give this movie a solid A. Out of 5 stars, I would give it 4.75. The only issue I had with it was the length. Now, obviously movies these days (especially ones meticulously carried out to stay true to their inspiration) are really effing long. I get that. But some of us have husbands with Attention Deficit Disorder. And when you are 150 minutes into a movie and there's some serious shit going down in the dialogue and your husband decides (in a packed theater no less) to tickle you because he's getting restless, I think it might be high time to get the show on the road. I cannot believe I maintained complete bladder control throughout the whole movie. That has to be some sort of human record. There were several times that I almost came unglued with excitement/sheer terror/thrilling intrigue that I probably came close to peeing my pants. Note to self: when seeing a 2 hour and 45 minute movie (plus previews!) don't drink 2 large Dr. Peppers. You will indeed be uncomfortable by the end of the movie.

Good lawd it must be illegal to look that good!

That's all for today...back to the Olympics!

Right. In. The. Childhood. Part 2.

Yesterday I shared with y'all about how seeing some of my favorite rock stars from my childhood made me realize how fast I'm aging. Well yesterday afternoon my husband and I took another major step in the way of being full-fledged adults: We bought a house.

Don't you just love those trees?!?!

We are so excited to get moved in and be settled. I can't believe I'm old enough to be a home owner. I always thought to myself "some day when I buy a house I will (insert crazy idea here)". That day is today. I have a house that I can do almost anything I want with it. Of course, it won't be like my childhood dream house.

 

I mean...he has his own McDonald's! What more could a kid want?

In-house McDonald's aside...I think this house is going to pretty much kick ass once we're done fixing it up (and de-old-lady-ing it). No it isn't a mansion nor the purple apartment in Greenwich Village from Friends, but I think it will do just fine. Yes, just fine indeed.

See y'all in the country!

Right. In. The. Childhood. Part 1.

Have you guys seen these meme's floating around on the interwebs?

 

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Yep, pretty effing hilarious. Recently, I've had quite a few of these moments. Not moments where I made inappropriate comments to my favorite childhood movies. I've been doing that for years! No, moments where a realization of how old I am has hit me right in the gut.

I first noticed this when the hubs and I went to the Summerland Tour concert at Moody Theater here in Austin. We were so STOKED to see some of our favorite bands from the 90s.

The Chatkins spotted on a rare evening out

The line-up included Marcy Playground, Lit, The Gin Blossoms, Sugar Ray, and Everclear. I mean good god. It couldn't get much more awesome unless they resurrected Kurt Cobain himself from the grave. We had an awesome good time...even despite the fact that I was suffering from food poisoning from eating a soggy cheeseburger the night before. Et tu Jim's? Each set was more and more memorable. Even Marcy Playground, who had 1 song in the late 90s that I even remember, were freaking awesome. It goes without saying that the other bands were totally kick-ass.

Mark McGrath and Art Alexakis introducing the show

Mark McGrath taking pictures of Lit for his twitter feed (somewhere my 12 year-old self is squealing like a stuck pig)

And that is Lit ROCKING MY FREAKING WORLD. Seriously...OMFG. I felt like I was 13 years old and watching MTV in the wee hours of the Summer morning, after my dad went to bed. You know, except live and a thousand times better than that. If you listen closely you can hear a very tone-deaf Mrs. Chatkins singing her ass off.

This is when shit gets real. It was not until this moment did I feel like I should be in a walker and compression stockings.

Has anyone seen my Centrum Silver?

The Gin Blossoms are loosing their fucking hair! One of the best bands from my formative years are balding for cripes sake. Good night nurse, when did I get that damn old? In case you're wondering why the Gin Blossoms' balding issues are specifically tough to handle, this is how I remember them:









Yikes.

Sugar Ray bringing back memories of Middle School dances

That blob on the platform is Mark McGrath's fine ass

Sugar Ray's show was jam packed with memories. From "Every Morning" to "(I Just Wanna) Fly" they showed that they obviously hadn't lost their touch. In other news, Mark McGrath is still unreasonably hot. Hot damn. I don't know if it was the red bull and vodka's that I was slamming that night, but I think I like Sugar Ray even more as an adult than I did as a kid (and I fucking worshiped them as a kid).


The most epic show of the night? Everclear, obvs.

Art Alexakis wailing on the guitar

The best part of the legendary evening? Oh giiiirl. Check this shit out:

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

No that's not me macking on some random tatted up hottie. That is me macking on none other than A. Jay Popoff from Lit. Yep. That sexy thang from the first video in this post is hugging me. Sweet Jeebus my left boob was touching him. Is it hot in here? No? Oh hmmm... Anywhoo, how this happened was, as we were leaving (I was more stumbling than leaving) the Moody Theater, we spotted Jeremy Popoff, the guitar player from Lit. As I was waiting to take a picture with him (that didn't happen. Sorry Jeremy!) my wonderful, amazing, best husband ever says "hey there's the lead singer." I am so surprised and so proud of myself that I didn't scream and shit my pants right then and there. I actually held myself together and asked him to take a picture with me. Of course he said yes. I mean who would say no to me? Oh yeah, Jesse James. That's ok, fuck that guy.

Back to my second husband A. Jay Popoff. He put one arm around me and as my husband was dutifully preparing my phone to take a picture, I rambled off this little piece of awesome, "I would just like to personally thank you for saving me from boy bands." What the hell is that? There are so many better, cooler, just other things I could have said to a fucking rock star! *Facepalm* I guess it worked for him though, because after I said that he wrapped (Jesus H. Christ - WRAPPED) his arms around me and did a little nuzzle action. alfhwuasdlvj;ai...Oh sorry. I just passed out on the keyboard from sheer exhilaration for a moment.

So anyway that was the night that rocked my socks off and I felt fucking old. It was quite a mix of emotions but in the end, I am so grateful that this concert exists and my employer got me half off tickets. Because that shit was amazing, even if I'm officially old.

***All photos and videos are personal unless otherwise noted. I am in no way affiliated with any of the bands listed, Moody Theater, or ACL Live. I just enjoy badass music.***

Wedding Recap Wednesday: Pre-Ceremony Formals Continued

Or alternatively titled: The Boys Learn to Walk Before They Can Run

The boys didn't get a lot of any "getting ready" pictures because, well because I was hogging the photographer. The groom did have a few group pictures he wanted with the guys so Lisa happily obliged. He wanted a rat pack-esque picture but that didn't work out...I'm assuming because no one brought cigars. He also wanted some photos that were a likeness of the infamous Reservoir Dogs poster.

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Before I show you these pictures, I want you to play this song while you scroll. Because every time I look at these shots, I get this song stuck in my head and I think you should have to suffer right along with me. I know, you don't want to be my friend anymore, but too bad. You're stuck with me bitches! Buahahahaha!

Did you hit play? No?! Why the hell not?!?! DO it. Do it NOW! I'm waiting.....

Ok fine.

Ready....Set...

Swag.

Getting closer...

Ah! Too close! Back the truck up guys!

And now from the other side

with pockets!

Holding hands...so sweet. Wait, should I be worried?

And here's where I keep my, um, pants. Yes. Pants. That will be ok

 for parents' eyes.

Oooo fancy angle

The ushers join the party

Shake it fellas!

Are we done yet?

Yes. Finally. There's so many of these pictures, and I only showed y'all a sample of them. You can't ask for much more in a photographer than thousands (literally thousands) of AMAZING pictures.

Up next on Wedding Recap Wednesday: Bridal and Groom solo shots. Plus our visually obscured moment together before the ceremony.

YouTube Tuesday: How Girls Pack

First off, I want to apologize for the lack of Movie Review Monday yesterday. I only skipped out because, well, I hadn't watched a movie in the past seven days sooo that kind of put me in a tight spot. No new releases, no reruns on TV, not even a juicy/suckfest Lifetime movie. And I know what you're thinking. A giant nerd-ball like you didn't go see The Dark Knight Rises?!?! Nope.


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And no, my not going to see TDKR has nothing to do with the tragedy that occurred Friday morning in Aurora, CO. The hubs and I didn't go see it this weekend because we (and by we I mean I) were some box packing mutha-fuggas. I sold a lot of our unnecessary furniture on Craigslist and thus had to clean out a lot of our previously used storage solutions. And by cleaning out I mean I just dumped all that shit into some boxes. After selling our dressers I briefly considered packing all of our clothes except for a 3 week supply. The problem is that I pack like a girl. Normally when I go on vacation I tend to take my entire closet for just a few days. I mean, you never know what is going to come up when you're visiting family and will probably never leave the house....or when you're stranded on a cruise ship and you actually have a schedule of everything that will indeed come up. So reversing this theory, I know in my heart of hearts that I would end up leaving almost my entire closet for the three weeks that we have left in our home and utterly fail at packing anything.

By now you're probably saying to yourself, gee that's really nice. I didn't care to know any of that information whatsoever but...what the fudge does this have to do with YouTube?

Well my bored-out-of-your-minds thoroughly intrigued friends, my friend C introduced me to a series on YouTube called Jenna Marbles (it's ok, I also was worried that it was some sort of porn...it's not). Jenna is this totally adorable young chick who makes hilarious video observations on how people do normal mundane things. This one about packing is so funny I almost peed myself.

This is where you say, "It's funny because it's true" it true Seinfeld form.

Wedding Recap Wednesday: Pre-Ceremony Formals.

Once we were all dressed, our awesome photog Lisa took us upstairs to the ball room to take formal pictures. I got a shot with each of my girls and even took a few bridals. I promise I won't bore you to death with sappy stories of how each one of these pictures has a special place in my heart. They do, but who wants to hear that crap? Before you get your wedding porn on though, I will leave you with this thought, before we started snapping pictures my underwear fell off. That's right. Off. And my maid of honor dutifully helped me step out of them in front of my grandmother and 4 year old cousin...not to mention all of my other bridesmaids and photographer that had witnessed me almost nude already that day. That's what happens when you try to put sweet little lacy blue panties over spanx. From then on, my official something blue would be my ceremony shoes and then my reception socks. Without further ado....

Next week on Wedding Recap Wednesday: The boys show their swagger. Prepare to giggle.
(Also, I know these pictures are totally out of order and are missing captions but blogger is totally sucking ass tonight. I just couldn't bring myself to go 3 weeks in a row without WRW though)

YouTube Tuesday: Sh*t Austinites Say

In honor of our last few weeks in the great ATX I thought I would share some funny cultural observations of Austinites. The "Sh*t (insert group of people here) Say" videos are some of the funniest videos I've ever seen.

I know I've been guilty of saying some of these phrases since moving to Austin. I just like to think that I'm not as douchey as everyone else who says it.

All videos courtesy of YouTube. All humor courtesy of douchebag hipsters letting themselves be overheard.

Movie Review Monday: Haaaave You Met Ted?

Sorry, sorry. I can't help but throw in a little HIMYM humor when I can.

But of course I'm not talking about this Ted:

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But THIS Ted:


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While I have not been so kind in my previous movie reviews, I have to say this one was definitely worth the cost of tickets. I give it a solid A-.

Naturally, the idea of a living, talking, bong-hitting teddy bear is pretty far-fetched so anyone who comes out of this movie saying, "I just didn't think it was very believable" needs to get smacked right across the face. Neither is Star Trek, dip-shit, but I bet you watch the hell out it.

Most of the movie runs like one long Family Guy episode, but that's to be expected in Seth MacFarlane's first feature length film.

Mark Wahlberg is....well, Mark Wahlberg (terrible 1-dimensional actor but pretty to look at and at least sounds like he's from Boston).



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 Mila Kunis is spectacular as usual. She's so equally funny and gorgeous that it just isn't freakin' fair. Couldn't she at least have a tail or something?

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Being that "Ted" is CG-animation and brought to life by Seth MacFarlane himself, he's pretty much the funniest piece of fluff since Alf. A fuzzy alien who eats "cats" is pretty hard to beat though.



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 The real break out stars of this movie though? Joel McHale and Giovanni Ribisi.


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While it's absolutely no surprise that Joel McHale would play a really good asshole or that Giovanni Ribisi would be a really good creeper...they really showcase their natural born talents in "Ted." McHale is always deliciously funny but casted as a sexual harassing boss? Wow. Hats off to the casting director on that one. I mean, seriously, bravo. It probably wasn't a long list for that role but you really hit the nail on the head. And let's face it, creepy dad is the role that Ribisi was born to play. From the time that he was on Friends we've all thought the same thing "does that guy have a horrible disease or is he just a serial killer?" There is a scene where he dances to Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now" and I, hand to God, spilled my popcorn because I was laughing so hard. Honestly, people, if that doesn't make you want to run out and buy tickets, well you don't have a sense of humor whatsoever. Life is probably going to be hard for you.

All-in-all I have to say "Ted" is a gut-busting good time. It probably isn't going to change your life but you will have sore abdominal muscles from laughing for 2 hours straight. If you are easily offended, this probably isn't your flick. You should really grow a funny bone though. God won't be upset with you, I'm almost sure of it.

I know after watching this movie, everyone wishes they had a magical bear like Ted, but I sort of wish that instead of a foul-mouthed bear, I had a sassy talking Cabbage Patch kid to rank of other people's clothing options with. Maybe a skanky Barbie with heart of gold. No no, Cabbage Patch Kid it is. That weird little belly button and butt tattoo always make me smile.