The Chatkins Diet: Movie Review Monday: Magic Mike

Actually...I would like to know what he has to do for twenties.

When the commercial for Magic Mike graced my television screen, I gave my husband the biggest ear splitting grin...to which he promptly replied with "go f yourself if you think I'm taking you to see that." What can I say, he has a way with words. Practically Hemingway in the flesh. Of course I never expected him to take me to a movie about male strippers (and quid pro quo babe), that's what girlfriends and gays are for.

Source

Now it took a little finagling and a couple of trips, but my two girls A and J and I were actually able to get into a showing last Tuesday evening. We were crammed into "not very bad" seats directly in front of some rude ass middle-aged women. They snuck in beer for god's sake. And not even good beer, I know because I smelled it from the belches happening directly behind my head. I might not be very polite but at least I'm a lady enough to not sneak in beer to a movie theater. Go to the draft house for that shit, bitch.

Let me just say now, I want my 2 hours and $10 back. That shit sucked.

Obviously I, nor any other body in that room, did not actually go to see Magic Mike because of the compelling story line. I went because Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Manganiello, Adam Rodriguez, and Matthew McConaughey get (almost) naked and dance. But they tried to deliver a compelling story line that sucked, bad. The love story was weird. The supporting characters had like 2 lines at the most. I was elated to see the one and only Mr. Matt Bomer in this movie and his only lines were really creepy. Why in they hell did they cast him as a married perv? He's out and proud! And he looks and acts like a gay man. Why not cast him as a gay man? Most male strippers are in fact homosexual, from what I've been told. Why make it weird Channing? Why?

I'm still not sure about Olivia Munn's character. And at one point, I kind of think they encouraged doing ecstasy. And for the record, Channing Tatum should never, EVER, cry. He was not put on this earth to be filmed looking pitiful. He is here to look hot. End of story.

Save your dollars for the live show ladies. And just imagine we live in a world where some day, there will be a place, where there are men as smoking hot as this cast actually taking their clothes off in real life.