Addiction is ugly

Hi my name is Mrs. Chatkins and I'm addicted to caffeine. (you don't have to say hi back, it's ok, I promise)

For the last 3 years or so, I've established a horrible addiction to caffeine. Not just coffee but red bull and monster and rock star...oh my.

I used to start my day off with a hot black tea. Not bad right? Well by noon my eyelids would be drooping and off to Target I would go for a pick-me-up. As long as I didn't have any caffeine after 3 pm my sleep habits didn't suffer. All was well (except presumably my health but whatevs).

These days, life is a little different. You see, we live in the boonies. I mean middle of freaking nowhere. BFE. Nowheresville. The smallest town you've ever been to is a major metropolitan city compared to the area around our house. Being that we live like the freaking Ingalls family (if you don't get LHOTP references, we can no longer be friends) there isn't much in the way of gain full employment. So I haul my little pioneer ass to the big city every morning, a whopping sixty minutes away. In order to get to work on time at 7:30 am, I have to wake up no later than 5:30 am. No matter how early I go to bed 5:30 is just not a time when I can function. If you want to see a good zombie impression, you should see me when I wake up. Except instead of searching for brains, I'm searching for caffeine and news. The news really is the only thing shocking enough these days to jolt my brain out of sleep-mode.

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Last night, after taking a nap at 6 pm (what?! I'm exhausted from being up and at em at the crack of dawn!) I came up with the most brilliant plan. Like, you should get out your Blue's Clues handy dandy note book and write this down. It's ok....I'll wait.

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Ready?

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Okay! So I remembered a year or so ago, my dear friend and book club fellow Laura gave me the best method for making iced coffee (a must when it is a hundred and hell degrees outside): brew a big pot of extra strong coffee and pour it into a pitcher that has a lid. Place said pitcher in the refrigerator over night and in the morning...voila! She also recommended using agave nectar for syrup but I just go straight for the creamer that will inevitably give me cancer and/or diabetes in the near future.

So I'm brewing my coffee and I remembered something that I repinned on Pinterest a few days ago. Ice cubes made out of coffee for all of your iced and frozen coffee drinks! Ermahgerd! Kerfee! Since posting on facebook, my totally stolen from Pinterest ingenious idea, my childhood bestie K suggested using xanathum gum to "keep it from seperating." I really don't know what that means...I'm assuming it's something that happens when you make a frapp. I won't be doing that in the morning anytime soon as long as the hubs is working nights. He might make his own very realistic zombie impression if I bust out the blender at 5:30 am. My "soul twin" Christel also reminded me that I could use said coffee iced cubes in a glass of Bailey's. Probably not first thing in the morning, but I'll make damned sure to try that one of these weekends.

So I know my caffeine addiction is a problem. I'm sure that it will push me toward an early grave and I should try whatever herbal remedy you're ready to throw at me. Plus I should exercise and hug trees and volunteer and adopt kitties and then my chakra will be aligned and the mother earth Gaia will keep me naturally energized and awake. Um yeah, the next gym isn't for like 20 miles. I'm allergic to trees and kitties...and volunteering (ok not the last one but the other two for sure). So spare me hipsters. We all have our own brand of poison and I think as long as mine is coffee and not heroin, I'm on a pretty good path.

***And no I do not want to try Spark from AdvoCare. I swear to Josh that I will unfriend your butt in a matter of seconds if you try pushing that crap on me. You can partake in any pyramid scheme you want but I don't want any part of it. No ma'am.