Thoughts for Thursday Round 1

I promise I'm not starting another weekly post series. I think we've all realized how bad I am at holding myself accountable to that.

I can't make any promises that Movie Review Monday will be consistent because we live so effing far away from a movie theater worth our hard earned money BUT Wedding Recap Wednesday will live on...as soon as we get the desktop set up and find that effing wedding photo cd among the mass of unpacked boxes.

I know what you're thinking...dude, why in the hell aren't you unpacked yet? Haven't you lived in this gee dee house for like over a month. Yes. Yes we have. We have a bit of a spider infestation on the screened in porch where the boxes are stored though. And I don't mean those little tiny cardboard spiders that you don't even see until you adjust your focus just right and there it is hanging in front of your face. No, these are not Magic Eye Poster spiders (Yes, I made up the name of that particular brand of arachnids. Your move Science.) These are the biggest spiders I have ever laid eyes on apart from tarantulas. Or that thing in Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets. But I definitely act like Ron Weasley the first time he met Aragog the Acromantula.


Yikes.



Srsly.

I know that it is completely ridiculous to be terrified of spiders. If one more person asks me if I knew that I was bigger than a spider I'm going to smack them right across the face. This is Texas people. My old boss lost a chunk of his butt when a brown recluse bit him...on his butt. I need all chunks of my body to remain on my body, thank you. Unless you know a spider that performs liposuction.

 I've had more run-ins with black widows than I care for. And not the sweet pig loving Charlotte's Web kind. The I'll kill your ass if you come near me kind. So that is why I have not made a bigger effort to unpack and find the wedding cd. Because I am scared shitless nervous to be in my own house. I have to talk myself into sleeping at night without imagining a thousand spiders in my bed.

fabulous portrait created by yours truly

So in short, that is why there hasn't been a Wedding Recap Wednesday in forever. Please console each other in this trying time. I know how much you love to hear me ramble on and on about my wedding and show you pictures that you've already seen on facebook. It's like I'm in your head, I know.