June cont'd.
In June I hit the big 2-5. Quarter of a century. Holy crap. I'm like a real grown-up now. I'm no longer "too young to be thinking about marriage" and most of my friends own at least one car seat. I also went to my first neurologist appointment to discuss the migraines I've been having for about 5 or 6 years. They were fantastic. They gave me several options and treatment patterns. The preventative medication I've been taking since has been working like a charm, although, the medicine they gave me for when a migraine does happen, doesn't work at all. I also watched my BFF of 11 years get married this month. I felt truly honored to be such an intimate part of their day and it was with this wedding that I realized what was about to come. I also met our officiant at this wedding. Stan Stan the preacher man. He's pretty awesome. One of Mr. Catkin's closest cousins got married this month as well. It was a beautiful ceremony and a serious party. That was indeed a good good night. I had a feeling (hehehe).
July
The first week of July I drove up to my mother and grandmother's apartment in Irving to both celebrate my mother's 44th birthday and to pick out a wedding dress with some of the most important women in my life. I chose the David's Bridal location at Hulen in Fort Worth because of it's central location to my ladies. This day was hard y'all. Not only was I nervous almost to the point of tears about picking the wrong dress, not fitting in any of the samples, or not finding anything, I felt somewhat let down by the experience. Some of the women that I had invited to be there (because I really valued their opinion and really needed their support) didn't bother to show. This made me feel unimportant. I know it was just picking out dresses and not the actual wedding or anything, but I had good reason for asking them to be there. A good dose of humble pie is always good, but not when you are trying to remind yourself everyday that you are indeed worthy and special enough to be marrying someone who in your mind could do way better. BTW, I'm not throwing myself a pity party, I just think my man's one helluva catch and I still don't know how I pulled this one off. Anyway, with the (amazing) ladies that had indeed gathered around me for this day, we started trying on dresses. Once I said yes to the dress and the bridesmaids that were present picked out a dress we met up with my dad for an amazing lunch at Saltgrass Steakhouse. *In book club for the month of July we read Thyme of Death and I didn't finish it....because it sucked. My attitude toward life might have had something to do with it. This month going forward I was in a pretty bad place.
August
This month flew by in a mix of confused tears. In book club we were supposed to read "100 Years of Solitude." I read a few pages. It was eh. Not sure how it made it to Oprah's book club choices, or our own for that matter. Again, my attitude toward life might have had something to do with it. It was also eleventy-billion degrees in Texas that summer. You couldn't even think without wearing yourself out with the heat. I had an MRI for my migraines. It was the most terrifying experience of my life. I had a full blown panic attack and the tech laughed at me. The results came back saying my brain is "totally normal" ha!
September
Most of Texas caught on fire this month. It was truly Hell on Earth. I escaped to the brisk temperatures of Central Michigan for a long weekend. I had the best time catching up with my Grandpa and that side of my family. I think they knew just what severe funk I was in, even though I didn't recognize it myself as I was determined to be my spunky annoying self, and they really rallied around me. I feel so much closer to all of them and that's saying quite a bit. I asked my favorite uncle to be an usher in our wedding and I am so thrilled he said yes. His little girl is our flower girl and I'm so happy to have both of them with me on our day. This uncle has an amazing wife and this flower girl has an amazing mother. Seriously, I look at Lindsay and all I see is the woman I want to be. I'm pretty sure the sun actually shines out of her ass. She's funny and beautiful obviously, but she's so real. She actually parents her child into being a good person. She actually uses big words. She actually shows love in everything she does, even when she's frustrated. And she gets frustrated! She's not one of those fake Stepford wife happy-bots that pretend everything is ok. She is real and I love this woman. This amazing woman threw me a bridal shower during my brief stay that was more than I could have ever imagined. I'll have to share pictures later because they need serious photoshopping. Hint: I'm going to have to work on sitting like a lady for the shower I have coming up. The end of this trip solidified a serious decision I had to make. Someone who used to be very close to me will not be attending the wedding. I am both happy and sad about it. I am sad that I do not have a story book family life, but hey, who does? And I am happy that I am strong enough to know who matters and who really cares about us as a couple. *In book club we read James Patterson's The Postcard Killers. It was a good read but lacking in depth.
October
Not much happened in October. I dealt with what was ahead of me. We were the first couple in Austin to register at the Container Store. We were in there so long that by the time we had emerged the seasons had changed...no lie. The rest of book club read Ender's Game. I did not. I started The Help. I bought a ton of candy for Halloween and didn't have even one trick-or-treater.
November
Thanksgiving. Nom nom nom! I finished The Help and freaking loved it. We also read A Dirty Job and it is hilarious! If you enjoy a read based on pure humor, run, don't walk to your nearest Half Priced Books and pick up this beauty. I had my first dress fitting and it fit! I am now known at the Abilene David's Bridal as the "Vera" bride because I'm the only one to come through their alterations department with a Vera Wang. #RockStarStatus
December
Christmas was met with lots of time spent with amazing family and friends. I couldn't have asked for anything better. It is through these people that I know the healing process is happening. I am a stronger person now. I will be okay. We partied it up on NYE at our home...by ourselves...like we do. I drank a bottle of wine and half a bottle of champagne. I was hilarious! Just ask me.
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