Lesson Learned

During these last 14 months of wedding planning, I've really learned a lot of valuable life lessons. Even though this experience has been incredibly taxing and life-changing in ways I didn't expect, I am inexplicably glad to have learned a few things about life.

1. Your groom cares more than you think. He probably puts on a tough exterior of nonchalance and tells you at every turn "Babe, this is your day. Do whatever you want and I'll show up." Don't let this fool you. He does indeed care, and if he thinks something sucks, listen to him. This day isn't about the bride, it is about the bride and groom and the moment you begin to truly share your lives together. Share the fun exciting parts with him. Let him help in some of the DIY tasks. Most importantly, if something is weighing heavily on you, TELL HIM ABOUT IT!!! Don't try to handle it all on your own only to erupt in irrational stress and ugly cries. After all, the whole reason you are doing this is to become "one" as a couple. You are entering marriage where (for hopefully a lifetime) you will experience many trials and tribulations and need each other for support. He is your support base and you are his. This is why you are getting married so let him know what is stressing you out.

2. You will discover the people in your life who really care about you. You will be shocked no doubt at who ultimately doesn't give a shit, but there is such a sweet surprise in finding out who does care and is actually excited for you. Naturally, most people are self-centered. That is our culture. I have had such a happy surprise in seeing those who are willing to stop their lives for a day or even more just because they are excited for our new venture. Do not forget to thank them. There are enough losers in our lives weighing us down, it is high time we celebrate those who love us.

3. Do not rely on anyone else for what you deem as a priority. This is a tough one to admit but hey, it's the truth and I'm all about keepin' it reeeeal. I know, I know. Didn't I just say in #1 to let the mister help you out? Of course! It is okay, and damn necessary to delegate tasks. Repeat after me, "I am not Wonder Woman."

 Those are some bitchin' wrist cuffs though.

Even though delegation is essential, do not expect everyone else to have the same set of priorities as you. What is of the utmost importance to you, is not that big of a deal to someone else. If you need it to get done and get done now, do it. Do not expect someone else to have your determination even though they may have a kind enough heart to want to help. You will find yourself being irrationally upset at your loved ones for not reading your mind and doing exactly what you wanted.

WTF 

You are undoubtedly constrained by time and the almighty dollar, but if it is that important, just find the time and the money and make it happen. Buck up buttercup, let's do this.

4. Make sure that you have a freakin' contract before you give a vendor any money! I know this is common sense to, well everyone with a brain, but we trusted someone we thought was a friend and they took our money and ran. As my fave Weddingbee blogger Mrs. Zebra would say, Snatch.  More than I am angry, and holy hell am I angry, I am so saddened by the backstabbing hurt given by someone whom I thought I was close to. Hell, this person had a hand in raising me and they did me like this? I don't think so mo-fo.

5. Speaking of Weddingbee, this wonderful online community of brides has been my saving grace. So much inspiration, commiseration, and love is spread throughout the hive.

My happy place

Granted, I am a troll among trolls. I am not a "Bee" in that I am not a pseudo-celebrity bride blogger with a kick ass moniker. I so want to apply with every stitch of my being, but with only 6 weeks until the wedding, I know the rejection letter is imminent and would break my wittle bitty bride heart. I also am not that big on the boards. I look at them occasionally and participate in random polls, but never once have I posted a damn thing about my own wedding. But reading these ladies stories has helped me through the toughest parts of wedding planning. For that I am forever grateful. I'm not sure where I would be without Mrs. Zebra's posts. Seriously, this chick is my wedding planning soul mate.

With 6 weeks to go I am sure I have a lot more to learn. I will take the lessons God has given me so far and hopefully not explode make this wedding my bee-otch! I am so thankful I am learning these lessons now and have them in my tool belt, rather than down the road when shit gets real. Thanks for learning and loving right along with me!