Morning Glory

After I left my friends' hotel room, I settled into my own room. I washed my make-up off, brushed my hair, and snuggled into bed reveling in my last few moments on this side of being married. I swallowed some generic Unisom to ensure I would not lay awake all night with jitters like I did the night before BM M's wedding. Kids, do not take sleeping pills. Do as I say not as I do! I texted my fiance good-night for the last time and fell asleep to the sweet sweet sounds of That 70s Show reruns. At midnight almost on the dot I woke up with a jolt.

Oh. Holy. Shit. I left all of my jewelry in Austin. Along with the beautiful long silk sash to wrap around my dress. To say that I panicked is an understatement. I was so freaked I almost picked up my purse and drove the three hours to retrieve the lonely "Wedding Day Accessory" shoe-box from my closet. I didn't want to bother my bridesmaids if they were actually sleeping. I turned to the one person who I knew could take the reigns in just about any situation, my step-momma. She has an uncanny ability to make shit happen. Gusto is what that woman has. I sent her a frantic text hoping she would wake up and see it. Like any sane normal person, she told me that we would fix it in the morning. The wedding wasn't until 6 p.m. (ha! to all of the "why so late?" naysayers) so we had plenty of time to find new jewels.

I snuggled back under the covers and tried to let the generic Unisom do it's job. Luckily, and I credit this entirely to God and the fine people at Equate (The Sam's Choice of pharmaceutical products), I did sleep that night. I mean, a bride with black bags under her eyes is so passe. I woke up in my usual fashion, three minutes before the alarm. Why does that happen to me every day?! I packed up my stuff and found my toothbrush but no toothpaste. Awesome. I'm getting married today with stank breath. When I texted my ladies to make sure they were up, they assured me they had toothpaste. I grabbed my bags and trudged to their room. The blueness from earlier in the week crept over me again as I realized I would not have the accessories with me that I so painstakingly searched for. I realize now how vain and petty this sounds, but bride brain is no laughing matter. Eastland, TX is not exactly known for its access to bridal jewelry.

On our way down we ran into my fam in the continental breakfast room. They saw the look of horror on my face and told me come Hell or high water, they would make sure I got some pearls. Best family ever, guys. MOH P and BM J followed me to Mane Street Salon in time for our 9 o'clock hair appointment.

lookin' hawt with yucky hair and no make-up

After they got settled in with Rebecca, I hauled booty to the few stores in town. There is a Beal's department store but they don't open until 11 and I needed this matter settled ASAP. That's when I turned to Uncle Sam.

No not that Uncle Sam! Dear God, the army would probably give my clumsy ass a sign-on bonus to join the other side!

 

 

Sam Walton

Now that's more like it. I pulled my car into the Eastland Walmart. I remember vividly sitting in my car listening to the rain drizzle down when I got a text from my boss "Happy Wedding day! I'll be thinking of y'all today and hope it's an awesome day!" That's when I realized, who is this sap crying in her car like some poor rendition of Kristin Stewart? Time to buck-up buttercup! If I can do rehearsal in chuck's, then I can certainly rock some wally-world accessories for the wedding. After all, it wouldn't feel like my wedding without a few hiccups. A very kind jewelry associate helped me pick out a pearl necklace, bracelet, and two options for earrings. I feel like she was karma embodied from a time I helped out some poor girl in need when I too was a Walmart Jewelry Associate.

I returned to Mane Street Salon like a victor after battle. After that, MOH P, BM J, hairstylist Rebecca and I just had plain old fun. We blasted music, did the Ellen Dance Dare, planked, and stood brooms up on their own.

All photos courtesy of this ham's facebook

When the FG and JRBM showed up we had even more giggles. JRBM Jazz-ma-taz thought we were crazy for standing up brooms...so we picked on her Michigander accent for a little bit. She's a trooper. I can't believe she's going to be 10 tomorrow. Man oh man. Where does the time go?
I don't have any pictures of her from this special moment. I am appalled that there is not photo evidence of her and Paige arguing over "pop" and "soda." So here's a picture of my dear sweet FG that is always the life of the party:

The Princess showing off her sweet moves

At this point in the story you might be wondering why in the hell we put this darling 4 year old in a shower cap. Well we all had them! Rebecca, our amaze-balls stylist, brought them so that when we left the salon, the rain wouldn't ruin our perfectly coiffed do's.

Personal Photo - don't worry, I do put make up on at some point

And because we are straight-up gangsta...we took our style-saving mode to the next level.

hoodies to shield our goodies

BM J's so gangsta she doesn't need a hoodie

And just like that it was mid-afternoon. We had an hour to chill at the hotel before it was go time! Stay tuned to see the transformation from hot mess to hot bride.